Well, I am sad to say that I have officially given up on this IVF cycle. What little symptoms I was having (which I attributed to meds) are now gone. It is as if I am the opposite of pregnant. My body is doing whatever it takes to show me that it just didn't work. Worse than that, I just know in my heart and in my gut that it didn't work.
I guess I am kind of happy to know this early. It would have been really difficult to find out on Monday and then have to tell everyone while nursing fresh wounds. The reality of everything is settling in.
I was talking to a friend and explained that the worst part about this is that I feel so selfish for trying in the first place. How awful to create these little babies and then not be able to keep them alive. It really breaks my heart. I talked to Fertility Partnership yesterday. My nurse is wonderful and was very sweet. She did say that I still need to go in for my beta on Monday to confirm. Honestly, I wish this cycle was over. This has taken up way too much of my life and I can't stand always waiting, waiting, waiting for the cycle to end.
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