I am smack dab in the middle of a wah wah wah, feeling sorry for myself fest.  I really wish I could just feel better physically and possibly start to move on.  It's just a constant reminder of the fact that things just didn't work out for us.  I haven't really felt like myself in so long.  I am looking forward to the day when I wake up and feel like myself again. Then, and only then, can I really start the process of moving on.

I am sad for our friends and family who travelled this journey with us and whose hearts broke with ours last week.  I am sad every time I do something that I couldn't do when we were in the middle of our cycle (drinking caffeine, having a glass of wine, etc).  It's all just a constant reminder. 

I did clean up all of the medicine and put away all of the syringes.  I guess it might help to not have to pass by all of those things every day.  As of right now, my husband and I both feel like we need a change.  We need a project.  Do we redecorate a room of the house?  Our house is on the market, so that doesn't seem like a good use of our time.  Do we look for a new hobby?  Do we look for a new job?  I don't know.  At this point, I just feel like something needs to change.  All of my energy that was previously going toward IVF is now stagnant.  So, I'm not sure what we will decide, but I feel like change is definitely in our future.  I'll keep you posted!