Thanks, Friend!

I was having lunch with a friend today.  She often surprises me with her ability to think critically about situations.  She will give a perspective that I never considered in a situation.  I am often jealous of her clarity of thought when examining a problem.

Well, today we talked a little about perspective.  I was explaining how I feel bad for feeling bad sometimes.  Does that make sense?  In other words, I've got a really good life.  I have a husband I adore, a job I love, friends I couldn't live without, a loving and supportive family, a roof over my head and a God who promises to love and forgive me even though I don't deserve it.  So, I admit, sometimes I am overwhelmed with guilt when I allow myself to be sad about our infertility. 

As I talked with my friend,  I said, "I feel terrible because this is the worst thing going on in my life and I'm letting it define me."  She said that we (people in general) get caught up in trying to find perspective in every situation.  We allow ourselves to think about the fact that other people have it worse than we do.  Then we start to feel guilty for ever feeling badly about our situation in the first place. 

Then, here's the good part, she said that it is OKAY for me to allow myself to feel bad.  I don't have to put everything into perspective.  Yes, someone else may be deathly ill, or someone's house may have just burned down, or someone may be going through a divorce, BUT that doesn't mean I have to feel guilty about allowing myself to feel bad right now.  She said people need to live in the moment...in their reality.  My reality is that we have just been through something very difficult.  I realize that it may not seem like much compared to the struggles some people go through.  She truly helped me to see that I do not always have to put things into perspective. It's ok to just own my feelings and work through it.  Thanks, friend!

The truth of the matter is that I feel really great.  At this point, in this moment, I do not need to feel badly about our situation.  I feel blessed and happy...right now.  However, I am thankful to my friend for teaching me that it is ok to have feelings.  It is ok to be sad or angry.  The true perspective is that I don't have to put everything into perspective.  I am thankful for our lunch chat and for a friend who has the guts to always say the difficult things.