So, I went for my ultrasound and labs this morning and I left feeling a little discouraged. First of all, the doctor said he found some "pre-pre-cancerous cells" in my uterus. He acted like it wasn't that big of a deal and that we will need to revisit this issue at a later time. He said that progesterone is the best line of defense. So, since I'm getting ready to be pumped full of progesterone, he recommended that we proceed.
Then he said that I had "junk in my trunk." Aparrently the D&C didn't clean out everything that needed to be cleaned out. We may have to freeze any eggs/embryos that we get at the time of retrieval.
Believe me, I am fully aware that my doctor is going to try to give me the best possible results. I'll do whatever he says. However, it is a bit frustrating to hear that we may not be able to complete the process this month. I feel like our lives have been on hold for so long. I am so tired and I just want this to be over.
I didn't feel like a crazy woman on all of these meds...until today. Now we are increasing my meds (in some cases, doubling the amount) for the next week. I feel like I just want to crawl up into a ball and sleep for days. I'm weepy and tired and I have completely lost control of my emotions. Plus, I swear my office is 1000 degrees right now.
As for today, I am going to allow myself to be tired, frustrated, and a little sad. I hope to wake up tomorrow with a renewed sense of hope. As always, your prayers are greatly appreciated.
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