A Man's Perspective

It is very simple - men feel this innate responsibility to provide for our families and protect those we love from even one ounce of pain.  If we fail to do that, then we feel we've failed in life. 

The past ten years have been very frustrating for me as I felt that I have failed Kate in providing for her need to be a mother, and I've watched as she also endures the pain of infertility.  It just doesn't seem fair!  I feel like Kate and I are two loving, caring, responsible adults who want nothing more in life than to love and care for a baby.  Why does it have to be so hard? 

As a boy, when I thought of how I wanted my life to play out, I never dreamed that I would be in this situation.  I laugh when I hear younger couples talk about their life plans - "in two years we'll buy a house, then one year later we'll get pregnant and after that we'll adopt a puppy."  If only it were that easy.  Well, for some people, it is.  I hate that I am denied something that seems to come so naturally for everyone else. 

I was a little nervous when the doctor mentioned IVF as our next step.  It seems like a fool-proof way to get pregnant, but the success rates are lower than what I expected.  It differs for every couple, but it looks like we have a 50-60% chance of conceiving a child, given our issues.  Those aren't bad odds, but considering the emotional and financial investment, obviously you would rather be assured that it is going to work. 

I'll be honest - sometimes I find myself extremely excited one minute and completely reluctant the next.  I talk in circles trying to rationalize whether IVF is worth the risk.  However, I've decided it's not worth it to take an even bigger risk that I might be eighty-years-old, looking back on my life, wondering "what if"? 

So, here we go...